Friends and Enemies

Choose your enemies carefully because they will define you
Make them interesting because in some ways they will mind you
They’re not there in the beginning but when your story ends
Gonna last with you longer than your friends

Remembering ideas - getting them started

Having lots of ideas recently - both business and personal. Remembering them is always difficult. So I have a digital Dictaphone in the car that I can grab to get my idea on the first step of the ladder. It then goes into Evernote so I can expand it or bin it. It does make it easier to see things through.

Father Forgets

Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, ‘Goodbye, Daddy!’ and I frowned, and said in reply, ‘Hold your shoulders back!’

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive – and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. ‘What is it you want?’ I snapped.You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding – this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: ‘He is nothing but a boy – a little boy!’

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

Safe Sunday

It’s good news that Sunday trading laws have not been relaxed. Campaigners claim that deregulation would create over £1bn extra for economy. Where do these nutters get that figure? Having a shop open for extra hours on Sunday will only result in less money being taken Mon-Sat!

The more important issues of the erosion of family life and shop staff actually getting time off didn’t get brought up…

All that Glitters isn’t gold

News is that Gary Glitter has just got jailed for 3 years after abusing two girls. It’s not nearly enough! Plus his compensation payment to the victim’s families of £200 is a joke. The difference between values of currencies should be ignored and the local court should have gone for his ‘wallet jugular’.

Perhaps a better deterrent for paedophile cases where the evidence is beyond doubt would be to cut the offenders nuts off.

Liberal Democrat = Dreary

The Liberal Democrats didn’t have a lot of choice for a new leader did they? They had to choose between Norman, Norman and, er, Norman. The candidates all reminded me of that old Twix TV advert – you know “Norm’s the name and norms the game”. John Major, train spotter, grey anorak and sandals are all images that come to mind.

As someone correctly pointed out on BBC1’s Question Time last night – bring back the alcoholic! At least Charlie made the party remotely interesting…

Will Microsoft hand over the keys to our data?

Microsoft is launching its new operating system (Vista) later in the year. One of the features available is something called ‘BitLocker Drive Encryption’. This is a system that stops you from accessing data on the hard disk unless the operating system is running.

The government is already requesting a back door into the system. This is a good idea in some ways – it could help the police in prosecuting child porn cases etc. But is this back door really workable?

There is a fact that must not be overlooked - the Labour government is not good with looking after data - memo's and documents seem to be ‘leeked’ on a weekly basis – how would they cope with trying to keep their backdoor methods secret? (No Lib Dem jokes please)

It’s highly possible that the government ‘workaround’ could be found on Google after a few weeks!

MP hypocrisy over BBC building

MP’s have been quick to condemn the cost of the BBC’s new buildings near white city (see here). Apparently the BBC spent £270 million - £60 million over budget. The BBC classed the extra expense as furniture - excellent!

Of course this is another helping of double standards on behalf of some MPs. We need not look too far back in time to remind ourselves of a similar scenario...

The BBC’s retort could be to drop the odd jibe about the Scottish Parliament building. This eventually opened at a cost of £431 million - some £322 million over budget!

At least in a way I guess we all benefit from the BBC building (if you own a TV) - but what about the Scottish Parliament building...?

Back by popular demand

OK - Awnty will write more posts soon.

Very Liberal Democrats

The Liberal Democrats are getting lots of PR at the moment. Not sure if it’s good PR though?!

They are proving just how liberal they are. Hughes latest revelations about his bisexual activities will add to the current Lib Dem hotpot which already consists of Oaten’s rent boy antics and Kennedy’s drinking activities.

Perhaps the Lib Dems are actually playing a clever game with us? Maybe it’s the first part of their political domination plan. You know - catch the gay and bisexual voters at the election.

And what’s next in the grand plan? Perhaps they’ll go for pensioners. Will Campbell suddenly 'come out'?!

No sex offenders in our schools

Ruth Kelly has now tightened up the rules on sex offenders working in schools (see here).

Why did it take so long (and with much distress to parents) to arrive at such a common sense policy???

Awnty was also surprised to read this morning that Ruth Kelly is a parent...

So much for Animal Rights

Oxford was busy at the weekend (after eventually finding a parking space). The city was choc-a-block with Police. What was going on? Oh it’s those animal rights protesters again – fighting to save the fluffy inmates at the Oxford University animal labs.

Awnty noticed a gory gash on the nose of a policeman’s horse.

“How did that happen?” asks Awnty.

“It was one of the animal protesters - he hit my horse with a wooden baton. They want to stop cruelty to animals - obviously just not all animals” replies the policeman.

“Bastards!” replies Awnty.

Fictitious NHS waiting lists - Part 2

Here's the evidence. Just ask any doctor at the John Radcliffe!

£Millions wasted on Asylum Centre

The asylum centre was going to be built in Bicester (Oxfordshire) and cost £30m (see here). However the government changed its mind and abandoned the plans but still paid builders GSL UK Ltd £12 million anyway. GSL did quite well there!

This is another example of the Labour government plundering the voter’s money.

Why didn’t the Lib Dem Chief Minger ask questions about this at Prime Ministers Question Time? He might have come out looking better (not battered).

Judge Ruth Kelly?

Unbelievably Education Secretary Ruth Kelly approved a male registered sex offender to get a teaching job.

Her excuse was that she thought the evidence that the offender had accessed child porn websites was ‘inconclusive’. Surely this wasn’t her decision to make? He was already on the sex offender list. (Awnty has inconclusive evidence that she is fit for her job).

Surely with these types of issues a child’s safety should be our first priority. If there was even a whiff of a problem with him, he should not be approved to work as a teacher.

Would you leave your kids with him?

Where is Tony Blair’s ‘respect’?

Tony Blair is in the news with his ‘Respect’ agenda. Perhaps before trying to remove the splinter in other people’s eyes he should remove the plank from his own?

Maybe Mr. Blair should show more respect to his MPs...
...not constantly bully them into being his puppets.

Maybe Mr. Blair should show more respect to pensioners...
...ensure that they get an actual raise on pensions at the next Budget.

Maybe Mr. Blair should show more respect towards the UN and its procedures...
...not go to war when you feel like it (or when the U.S. tells him to).

We could probably go on all day!

Thai murder scapegoats?

The murder of Katherine Horton on the island of Koh Samui was a terrible crime. But recent news of the quick arrests of two local fishermen could sound a tad dubious. Where they really her murderers?

Koh Samui relies on the tourist for income. Keeping that fact in mind you wouldn’t want to rock the boat with the prospect of a killer roaming the area. Perhaps just perhaps the Thai police are giving good PR whilst secretly still frantically looking for the real culprit?

Goodbye Charlie ‘Brown’ Kennedy

The Liberal Democrats (LDs) were dying to follow the Conservatives lead on finding a new leader. Is it the Labour Party’s turn next? Let’s hope so...

Who will take the helm at the UK’s 3rd largest political party now? Does a charming, likable, charismatic Liberal Democrat actually exist??

Whoever ends up getting the job will have to go shopping for some decent body armour – in the LDs you never know who might stab you in the back when you’re not looking. OK Kennedy hadn’t been performing well recently, but the move by some of his party members of capitalising on his alcoholism to help drive him out of the leadership post was cruel. Even Winston Churchill reportedly had alcoholic tendencies!

Seeing the true colours of some LD members will undoubtedly help David Cameron get more hits on his website libdems4cameron.com.

Is Charles Kennedy an AA member?

It’s the 4th emergency service for those who like more than a drink or two (join up here). His political career seems beyond breakdown cover now though.

Perhaps Kennedy is trying to use his drink problem to divert the media attention away from his bigger issue – his Lib Dem leadership fiasco. He probably got the idea from Jo Moore (it’s a good time to ‘bury’ bad news).

Liberal Democrat members are now on the lookout for a new leader. Someone who is young, charismatic, fresh faced, rides a bicycle into work, an eco warrior. Of course they could just join the Conservatives!

Fictitious NHS waiting lists

Patricia Hewitt bleats on about how great the NHS is and how waiting lists have dropped under a Labour government. But we all know the real reason the stats show waiting times are falling...

Thousands of UK citizens that were waiting for an operation have had their appointments cancelled due to NHS ‘reprioritisation’ or ‘cost-cutting’ procedures.

This is real scandal – when a man faithfully pays his NI all his working life. Then in his retirement he needs an operation on a painful hernia. A few days before his operation date he gets a letter from some bigwig at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford saying his case has been re-assessed and appointment cancelled. Bastards!

The NHS will never be fully privatised – just think of the potential corporate manslaughter cases through neglect…

Visa – your flexible sexy friend?

OK that was a bad pun. But not as appalling as the news that some immigration workers at the Home Office might be granting visas to foreigners in exchange for a bit of rompy pompy. Whilst reports suggest that some members of staff are not bothering to carrying out security checks it seems that other more ‘enthusiastic’ employees are taking their work home with them!

Ultimately whether its sex or money – these ‘favours’ and bribes undoubtedly happen in many forms, and probably in most levels of government!

Geldof gets chummy with Cameron

Christmas has come late for the Conservatives. David Cameron has presented the Tory party some gift-wrapped PR news - Bob Geldof has joined the party as their new consultant on global poverty.

Although Geldof is to remain party-neutral this can’t help but attract new younger voters at the next general election. Obviously Cameron knew this!

This must be a blow for Geldof’s old chums Blair and Brown. Once hailed as the ‘Lennon and McCartney’ of politics by U2’s Bono they seem to be becoming a comedy duo we have all heard enough of.

Tony Blair - Loser?

Tony Blair must be more careful – he keeps losing things. From recently ‘losing’ £7billion in Europe to losing authority over his party during his embarrassing terror law defeat. Of course Blair struggles through this losing streak by becoming more draconian in his leadership style. He re-confirmed this today at Prime Minister’s Question Time (although he used the term ‘enabling people’).

Surely Blair needs to start listening to elected MPs and not his private buddies (also called advisors) when making policy. Otherwise the electorate will have to change their minds and press the Eject button on Labour’s soundtrack. Of course the alternative is to become increasingly oppressed under the thumb of Blairite philosophies…

‘Catch your death’ at the NHS

Stories of dirty hospitals litter newspaper headlines fairly regularly. But now the NHS has come under fire for the overuse of antibiotics which affects the body’s own immune system and its ability to tackle the infection ‘C.difficile’. But are we are all guilty of medicine overuse?

The average Mr Office worker who catches a bug will undoubtedly overdose on various drugs so he can play ‘hero’ and still make it to work. Whilst this is annoying (as we all share it) maybe the longer term affect on future generations is unknown. Perhaps our liberal usage of drugs inhibits our own bodies to deal with those bug(gers) longer term?

If Mr Office worker is ill he should just stay at home…

Police should use the Force

Labour seem to be interfering with everything at the moment. Maybe they don’t have enough to do? They’ve moved their dim spotlight on the Police.

Merging the police forces seems an expensive and fairly worthless exercise. Of course the government knows this which is why they’re offering the forces slush money to take up on the idea early.

Maybe there are deeper reasons for the government’s stance on this one. Perhaps having less forces will be easier when it comes to privatisation?

Google gets frisky with AOL

News is that Google might gobble up a piece of AOL pie. In some ways AOL and Google seem at opposite ends of the Internet world.

On one hand you have Google – a minimally styled, fast searching, well liked search engine. No bandwidth-sucking adverts.

On the other hand you have AOL – slow connection, slows down your computer, nearly impossible to remove, dodgy marketing. With plenty of adverts.

They say opposites attract but this is ridiculous…

Cameron sharking Lib Dems

The cheeky Tories are getting quite tactical under fresh management. They’ve set up a new website (libdems4cameron.com) to poach away fledging Liberal Democrat (LD) supporters. It’s quite a cunning plan – was this another trick from up David Davis’s sleeve?

LD supporters all over the country are now deleting their Internet Explorer history in an attempt to clear their minds of the guilt they feel; Trying to subdue interest in a political party that has the potential of actually getting into government is probably quite difficult for them.

Kennedy’s bad week just got worst.

£700m Bridge for Scotland

Scotland wants another crossing over the Firth of Forth (apparently the current bridge is getting rather busy). Friends of the Earth Scotland are naturally kicking up a fuss about environmental issues (see here). But more importantly who will pay for this new landmark?

No doubt Scotland will want the funds from the tired English taxpayer. Why can’t the Scottish pay for it themselves? They went on for years about getting some independence and their own parliament. Yet a part of my income tax still goes up north in supporting the chilly isles.

If they want to be so independent maybe they should spend £700 million on rebuilding Hadrian’s Wall…

Liberal Democrats job up for grabs

Charles Kennedy needs to get to grip with news that support is failing among his own flock. Realistically Kennedy will never be leader of the opposition let alone prime minister. Who wants a ginger Scott running the country? Surely Liberal Democrats (LDs) are panicking now – they thought they had a shot at being the opposition but David Cameron has changed all that.

If LDs are serious about being in government they need to follow the recent Conservative route of re-branding their party. Most importantly they need a dynamic young leader (not a manager) who isn’t ginger.

The Positive Iraqis

Iraqi opinion is positive according to the news here. But is the UK public tired of hearing about Iraq? If you watch the news for a few weeks you can’t help getting fatigued by the ongoing predicament. Sometimes it all seems their fault -why can’t they just stop the suicide bombings and give democracy a chance?

But is there such a thing as an Islamic democratic state? Or is this just Islamic rule by proxy? On the other hand does a Christian state actually exist? You might give the UK as an example. But what Christian based law in the UK there was is becoming ever diluted under multiculturalism, political correctness and especially the influences of Islam.

Apart from choosing government, part of true democracy is having the individual choice of choosing your religion. Realistically its doubtful Iraq will ever have this - at least not for a very long time. Could you imagine seeing lots of Methodist churches in Baghdad?

Ticket prices step over the line

Travelling by train in the UK is so expensive – why is this? Now ticket prices are set to increase by up to 9% (see here). How does this promote using Public Transport (PT) instead of using my car?

The nation is supposed to be increasingly utilising public transport and leaving the polluting 5-wheeled box at home. But what’s the point in using PT if it’s so expensive in the first place? Gordon Brown doesn’t actually want us to use PT too much as he’d obviously lose too much loot in petrol levy.

To give an idea of how expensive train travel is… the cost of an Oxford to Edinburgh train ticket (one way) can be as much as £143 (taken from here). In contrast you can get a 2 night break in Barcelona for £116 from lastminute.com. That includes flights and a hotel!

Stamp Duty Raised

The price of a first class stamp is rising by 2 pence to 32 pence. There has been uproar from watchdog (or bulldog?) Postcomm that such a hike is unjust and makes sending letters pricey.

But hang on a minute... As an experiment let’s give Nigel Stapleton (chairman of Postcomm) 32 pence, a pair of blue shorts and a letter and see how far he gets delivering it.

The Royal Mail (RM) letter postal service must surely represent the lowest-priced way to get a physical document across the country. Even if RM increased the cost of a stamp to 45p surely this wouldn’t be asking too much?

We can also mostly trust RM. How about the dodgy private postal company that threw all their post in a skip? (See here).

To keep the tight bastards happy(ish) perhaps the future of mail delivery is using variable rates. Sending post from London to London at 20 pence and London to Edinburgh at 50 pence? But complicating the system will only bring in other costs. Often simplicity is the best option.

Blair & Cameron’s lunch date

Many folk were tuning in to watch Prime Ministers question time today as David Cameron came out to play. In the beginning Cameron found so much in common with Tony Blair there could have been love all around us. If Cameron practices the new ‘Compassionate Conservatism’ religion on Blair he won’t get very far – let alone convert him!

But perhaps Cameron was intentionally charming Blair to maximise the impact of the punches he subsequently threw. And did Gordon Brown look a bit troubled? Brown is already on the phone - booking lessons at the 'Roger Moore school of Charisma'…

The Young Ones

David Cameron has won a landslide victory in the leadership battle (despite devious tricks from the other camp?)

The Conservatives are actually in such a favourable position now as the media coverage on the race has done them a great PR job (something they’ve been fantasising about for ages).

Using fresh faces Cameron could actually begin a re-branding exercise to appeal to the wider electorate. Voters are curious that there may be a viable alternative to Labour without returning those old Tory weirdo’s to power (you know the ones - balding with big glasses etc). Older Conservative faces must now take the back seat.

When Blair first entered office many folk were excited with the new fresh faced PM on the scene. But with time the colour has faded away. If Cameron makes it to Downing Street will he stay clear headed and honest? Or will he become a grey lying bastard like so many others? The truth is out there…

Road tolls hit new Peaks

Unbelievably the local county council are trying to start imposing congestion charges in the beautiful Peak District (see here). After the wallowing numbers of visitors during the Foot & Mouth crisis, the local authority is now complaining they have too many visitors.

Once again we see the Mr. Wicked Car-Owner will get shafted for using his transport - even after paying ridiculous petrol and road tax. Maybe Derbyshire and Oxfordshire’s planners should get together and twin The Peaks with Oxford City. Is there anywhere worst…?

Branson-pickled NTL?

Richard Branson has the miraculous touch – ‘every little thing he does is magic’. But can he do this with NTL? The news is that NTL and Virgin may be getting into bed together. What is this about? NTL craves for that Virgin image - the NTL brand has mostly been associated with poor customer service. As for Branson – he wants another pie for his finger.

Most folk using NTL will probably have ‘enjoyed’ the experience of calling their helpdesk - parked in the abyss of their telephone system for a few hours. And then when you get through to a humanoid its some YTS lad who doesn’t have a clue. Eventually when you’ve had enough and want to close the account it takes approx 10 months, a dozen letters and ultimately threats with Ofcom and the Telecoms Ombudsman.

Hopefully this won’t backfire and the NTL ‘virus’ infect the rest of Branson’s empire.

The Future’s dark; the Future’s the EU

Blair is now giving in to Brussels and may hand a few £billion of the UK rebate back; keeping sweet the legacy of his presidency of the EU.

Whilst I’m not xenophobic, I fail to see the point of the EU sometimes. It’s the simple things - like what is the point of paying UK farmers to grow nothing - and then purchasing and paying to transport the produce the UK needs from France? Why can’t we just buy from our own farmers? And it’s those annoying French lorry drivers that are always on strike and causing extra CO2 emissions by driving over in the first place!

Dangerous times could lay ahead for Britain. As the UK becomes more Service based and we manufacture & produce less we will come to rely on our neighbours even more. What happens if things go bitter? What if there is a Euro-war? What will the government have to offer hungry UK citizens in need in times of strife? Do we still have our own farmers? – “Oh, sorry, we don’t produce food anymore – but come and stay in one of our converted barn apartments...”.

Ice axe murders melting the age issue

The imprisonment of the 2 x Anthony Walker killers is welcome news. This case highlights the wider issue of what age courts can fix the blame. The killers in this case where 17 & 20 – more than old enough to know the results of their actions. But what if they had been 15?

Children’s punishment is becoming a tricky matter. Now children wear ASBOs like medals of honour – not exactly a deterrent!

Maybe the rule should be that if you’re not acting within the law - you’re not covered by the law. Criminals that use the law to their advantage really take the piss. How about the thief that robs a house in the night – he disturbs the house owner – and gets shot by the owner (ring any bells?). Next minute the thief’s in the courts prosecuting! Such a perverse world!